Hmmm let me see, where have I been? I think it safe to say that I have been in a state of purgatory for a little while.

In my little world of work it gets a little bit crazy when you change jobs from one company to the next. You literally resign on the spot, take all of your belongings and walk out the door to begin working for your new company as soon as they legally release you from your old place of employment. In other words, you start work on Friday night and don’t look up until you are finished several weeks later.

You don’t have much time to say goodbye or even think about the relationships you leave behind. That is one part of the job I despise. Unfotunately, they are beginning to lay people off from that office now that I have left. I feel terrible.

Life was so stressful I seriously contemplated suicide. The ONLY think that kept me from dying is the love I have for my daughter and wife. Never underestimate the power of love. In my case it saved my life for I was haunted by a lone gunman who wanted to end everything for about a week.

I am now a Senior Vice President for a new company; Partner of our own Real Estate business and a director for a Charitable Foundation.  

I am overwhelmed by the love and support I have received from my friends and family. I would be nothing without them.

For weeks, I thought the light at the end of the tunnel just might be a train. I’m beginning to think it could be sunlight.

Flash Forward….

I am alive. I am relatively well. I turned 46 years old on Saturday. I am running races and exercising like crazy.

I have been following you quietly. There are several of you I love. Some of you don’t know it so I may make it a point to tell you over the next coming days. Please accept it for it is all I have to offer.

Stay tuned.

Peace be with you,

Bobby

A new twist on an old picture. This one taken for Christmas 2009.

It was early Saturday morning (Feb 6^th) on the way back from work. Chris worked all day and all night (We have been hammered with snow and ice) restoring high voltage power lines and was on his way back home when he hit a patch of ice on the interstate. His truck spun wildly out of control, fell into a ravine and abruptly stopped after hitting a tree.

I suppose he was speeding. He liked to do that you know….

He died on the scene.

Chris leaves behind his wife and children.

I have known Chris all of his life. I don’t know what else to say.

That hurt.  

I think I’m done with this post.

Peace,

Bobby

Bullet points.

This could be short or could be long. I don’t know.

1)      Racism. I‘ve seen some discussion on the subject in KCL. All it takes is one human being who is different than another and BOOM you have potential for conflict. Education is the only way to solve racism.

2)      Straight A’s continue for Jovana, our exchange student. The kid should be an engineer. Unfortunately, they have no use for Engineers in her country. Engineers, Physicians and Lawyers are not well paid in Montenegro.

3)      Kelly has been pounded with snow these last couple of weeks. Friday and Saturday they are getting 15-26 inches of snow after having snow all week up in DC. Folks, we are from the beach where the snow never goes…It has officially freaked her out.

4)      Me? Oh I have completely lost my mind. I had two rentals come vacant at the end of January. One is rented already (Wonderful turn around and picked up 45 more bucks a month in rents.) The other? I should have it ready to show in the next two weeks. Those folks were not the cleanest humans on the planet. I will pick up an extra 45.00 bucks in rent there as well. Lots of work. Many long nights!!!

5)      Nurse Ratchet? Um, her mentor and old physician co-worker passed away suddenly about 2 weeks ago. He died of a massive heart attack. They worked together the day before he passed. She has cried everyday since. Not pretty. Actually, I have never seen her depressed. She is CRUSHED.

6)      My brother is working with one of the producers of Lady GaGa on some music tracks. They both went to Berklee together. Frankly, this is his big break. The downside? My brother is a monster in the studio. In fact, he has his own studio in his house. Killer. We are having a divorce party for him on the 8^th!!! It is official.

7)      My little sister? I love her. She is just back from a business trip to Atlantic City. She was excited. Me? You can keep Atlantic City. She has already fallen off the wagon on her running and diet.

      Hopefully, I can fix my golf cart tonight or tomorrow. I snapped a strut off jumping some dunes awhile back. Were we out of control? Yes. Was it fun? That cart should be outlawed.

9)      Superbowl? I see the Saints winning it unless Peyton Manning gets red hot.

10)  I miss you all very much. I still read you but have not logged on to comment or write. I think that status will be consistent for awhile.

Peace be with you,

Bobby

Hmmm,

Just sitting here thinking about life.

I got an email this morning and my sister tells me her Best friends brother in law (and passenger) died in a car wreck last night. These men were 20 and 21 years old.  Single car crash at a high rate of speed. All over the news of course…

God knows I have done my share of that stuff. I guess it wasn’t my time.

My other buddy texted me to let me know his son got into Cornell University. This is the same 17 year kid who wrecked his motorcycle and broke a wrist, knee and ruptured a testicle. We call Chris “Captain Blueball”. Guess it wasn’t his time.

I hit a jetty once when I was surfing. I was knocked out and broke my board. My friend pulled me to shore and I have no recollection of the incident till this very day other than blood all over the back of my head and my broken board.  Ever heard the phrase “Swim with a buddy”?  Trust me it makes sense. You would have never met me if I wasn’t saved by my buddy Bruce.

Looking back, I was upset about my board. I was too stupid to think I could have died. I never told my parents exactly what happened.  You just put this stuff out of your mind.

Every day we live, we run the risk of dying. I accept these risks as a part of life. I would rather live my life as a series of experiences.

We only get one chance.

Make today count. While you are at it, tell someone you love them.

Peace be with you,

Bobby

Ronin called me in tears after her visit to the museum yesterday. They got on the DC metro and went to complete an extra credit assignment for their Western Civilization class. As an added bonus Kelly visited with her little Jewish friend Annie.

Both were emotionally destroyed after leaving some 3 hours later….

Many of us go into a museum and peer around for a little while until we get bored and leave. Uh, not this place. The sheer magnitude and terror that permeate the building are unforgettable. Minutes turn to hours as you devour the timeline and the events these people suffered.

How could someone do such a thing?

Where does the hate come from?

I don’t know… I do know that hate is alive and well in the 21st century.

For as long as human beings have differences there will be a small subset who can find fault with these differences.

Stay vigilant.

Peace be with you,

Bobby

I recall walking into work and preparing for the days events. All of a sudden I see on the television that the World Trade Center has been hit by an airplane.

Flash to the scene…

Papers fly everywhere. Surprisingly, my friend Bill survives the impact. He was a trader at Cantor Fitzgerald and their office was directly impacted. He calls his wife and tells her that he is okay. He says they are going to the roof and that they will be rescued, not to worry.

This would be the last time he tells his wife he loves her. You know the rest of the story…

My friend never got to see his three children grow up. Their father is but a distant memory.

9/11 shattered all of their lives.

It would eventually change ours lives as well.

I will never forget.

Peace be with you,

Bobby

Here is a picture of Kelly with Ginger. Not long after this picture was taken we had to put Ginger down. Kelly and Ginger had been best of friends since Kelly was 3 years old. Now all we have left is her memory and her ashes. I remember the day Ginger first came into our home. I also remember the day Ginger had to leave. I look back on these days between her life and death with a smile.

Today marks the second week in which she has been gone. The girls are not taking it well.

Death is a natural part of life. None of us know when our time is to come.

All we can do is make the most of today.

Peace,
Bobby

The Vet called us for a consult about Ginger 5:30 last Friday. He had been working on her all day.

X-rays revealed that her already enlarged heart had expaned further since her emergency visit in May. Her little lungs were filling up with fluid and revealed some spots which were not visible in her May studies. We really pulled out all of the stops in terms of caring for our friend.

We had to make the decision. We just couldn’t let our friend suffer any longer.

We said our last goodbyes, held her and simply stayed with her during the whole process. We just couldn’t let her walk this last lap alone.

She died in Mabel’s arms as the doctor put her to sleep.

The drive home was emotional and very difficult.

On the way home we saw a rainbow appear in the distance. Very rare.

A coincidence perhaps?

I don’t think so.

Peace be with you,

Bobby

I must have missed something in my absence. Apparently controversy has struck again and I didn’t even know it.

No matter where you go or what you do, there will be the possibility of encounter with someone who thinks differently.

These differences make our lives so interesting. Racist? Bigot? Idiot? Moron etc….I have been called all of these things. Are they true? Honestly, they are just names. I am not offended. Why should I be?

Changing gears…

She came into our lives a little over 15 years ago. A little puppy she quickly became the pet my 3 year old Ronin would grow to love and cherish. Our dachshund “Ginger” is in the final stages of her life with an enlarged heart and water on the lungs. COPD it is called. We took her to the vet this morning and the doctor told us that she is declining rapidly. She is at the vet hospital right now. Her decline over the last three days has been alarming. Trust me, we are pulling out all the stops. This is just one of several visits to the vet lately.

We almost put her down today but Nurse Ratchet is not ready. Anyhow, I expect to hear from the vet this afternoon.

I love Ginger way too much to let her suffer. Life presents us with difficult decisions sometimes.

Ginger is letting us know the time is near.

You can never have too many friends.

We are on the brink of losing one of our best ever.

Peace be with you,

Bobby

I received a text message yesterday @ 1:17 from my sister’s best friend.

“Hi Bobby, This is Candy. Please call me when you get this message.”

Well, her mother was tragically killed Saturday in an Auto accident so I figured it was urgent.

I called her back of course. I just let her talk. What do you say to someone who just lost their mother in an auto accident? While talking to her I felt like someone hit me with an emotional dump truck the size of Texas. I have known Candy since she was in grade school.

Her mother had been an absolute wreck of a human being for the longest time. Candy is 30 and her mother is 47 so do the math. Drugs, prostitution, social services, you name it. Candy lived with her father but looked after her mother.

Anyhow, her mother wanted someone to play and sing “The Reason” at her funeral. For her the song fits as it is an ode to her new grandchild. She cleaned up her act and started to become a responsible member of society. Life had given her a second chance.

So here I sit in my office, sprained left ring and middle finger (Sunday touch football injury) rearranging and learning how to play “The Reason” - so that I can play and sing it at her funeral tomorrow. Of course I’ll make it sound good. I can do it better than they do live but I have to drop it down a half step.

I’m having trouble holding back the tears. My co-workers are walking a WIDE path around me today.

I’ll play this song one time for her at the funeral and then I don’t EVER want to sing it or hear it again.

EVER!!!

“I’m not a perfect person, There’s many things I wish I didn’t do” - Hoobastank

Music happens to be a gift. Like all two edged swords it can also be a burden.

This is a burden and a painful one at that.

Tell someone you love them today.

I sure do love many of you.

Peace be with you.

Bobby

This is now my daughter’s guitar. It sounds lovely. In case you forgot all my guitars have names. Her name is Jane. The only guitar in the stable named because she was so plain…The rest are named after significant people in my life.